my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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