do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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