Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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