is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
