My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
