Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
