She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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