i think i have herpe
just one?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
