Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
