Cold hands, warm shart.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
