lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
