There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
