There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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