smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
