Dual....:-)
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
