so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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