thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
