OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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