I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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