I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
