i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I wear drunk well.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
