Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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