She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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