I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
