Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
