I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I have post one night stand depression
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
