no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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