Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
