I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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