C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
