I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
