Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
