that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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