We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
