My underwear smells like fireworks.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
