when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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