Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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