She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
