I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
