my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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