You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
