margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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