You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
birth control should be required to get into college
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
