i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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