All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he laminated a picture of his dick.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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