I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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