Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
