where am i from again
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
