This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
