I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
