Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
