Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
