Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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