even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
