she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
