You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
