apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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